


Hold on

by AvaDiablo



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-07-12 17:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7115911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaDiablo/pseuds/AvaDiablo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newscaster Sakurai Sho has been having trouble sleeping due to the crying baby next door. There's only so much a busy man like himself can take...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sho groaned throwing his hands up in the air as if to ask what ever deity was residing over him why this was happening to him. The newscaster was generally easy going and could handle stress like no other. Being addicted to work was both a blessing and a curse. Early days, late nights, money in the bank. However, right now, whatever sleep he usually got was rudely interrupted by the crying baby from next door.

And this was not really the first time either; it had been crying non-stop. As the oldest brother with workaholic parents he had helped raise his siblings, so he did know the stress of parenting for a crying baby. But this time it wasn't really the crying of the baby that disturbed him the most. No, this time it was his neighbour who was yelling back at the crying infant, which made the situation according to the newscaster all the more complex.

Sakurai Sho had only once raised his voice to yell at his youngest sister when he was nearing the end of the line, losing all hope of being in control, and when she cried even harder he had slapped her hard across her cheek. It was the one thing in his life he still regretted from ever happening - even if he had only been sixteen at the time. He should have known better, should have known it would make matters worse. And it was that memory that had him up from his bed at nearly four in the morning pounding on the front door of his next door neighbour.

The door to the house down the line opened and showed another neighbour who was also not pleased by the noise judging by the look on her face. As soon as she spotted Sho, she smiled and bowed politely before retreating inside again. Sho sighed as he rang the doorbell. Matsumoto Jun should be very lucky it was him pounding on his door. Mrs Nakamura was not easy to get along with under normal circumstances, let alone if she had something to complain about.

After the doorbell and first series of pounding he became a little anxious which resulted in a heavier pounding. He was on the verge of calling out his neighbour's name when the door opened and revealed a dishevelled, bleary eyed looking young man who did not really resembled the neighbour he passed in the hallway some weeks before. The guy had lost weight, a lot of it, he looked pale and sleep deprived. His shirt was smudged in a various degree of baby vomit and odd spills. The neighbour was finishing up wiping his hands, hanging the cloth over his shoulder, before looking Sakurai in the eye. With the door open the sounds of crying welcomed Sho in full force, echoing across the entire floor.

"Sakurai-san," greeted his exhausted neighbour with an apologetic bow, before doing another intake of Sho. It just dawned on Sho that he was standing there, dressed in nothing more than his somewhat oversized pyjama slacks. Now, Sho knew he had nothing to be ashamed of and found the sight of his neighbour checking him out rather welcoming for a change.  
"Matsumoto-san," Sakurai returned, "You know why I'm here, right?" The neighbour nodded, the dread visible in his eyes.  
"I'm very, very, sorry about the noise. I'm trying my best to remedy the situation, but..." There was something hugely wrong here. Sho could generally sense trouble coming from miles away, but beside the fact that the infant was still heartbreakingly crying, Matsumoto seemed on the verge of tears too. Feeling caught Matsumoto Jun mustered a small smile, sucking up what ever he was feeling and visually improved his posture to at least look like the man Sho remembered to be living next to him. "I'll try harder."

"Matsumoto-san. I'm not here because of the crying. I'm here because you are yelling at your kid." At this his neighbour blinked astonished before Sho continued, "You can't yell at children, it will only make situations worse. Trust me, I know this from experience."  
"It's not my kid, it's my niece," Jun answered evasive while frowning.  
"Like it matters who the kid belongs too. Obviously you can't handle her. Maybe you should call her parents and tell them that-"  
"Can't. They ... passed away recently."

 

Sho, who was someone who nearly always knew how to address a situation, was floored for a second. Just a small one. Sho felt whatever little resentment he had towards his neighbour fade away. It was clear that the guy was in over his head when his brother - or sister - left their precious cargo in his hands.  
"I'm so sorry for your loss, Matsumoto-san," who nodded obligingly at the formal comment. After a pause and listening to the unyielding crying from inside Sho continued with, "Maybe you can find some support from your parents who-" But already Jun was shaking his head wordlessly avoiding all eye contact.

"I'm sorry to have caused you sleepless nights, Sakurai-san. I will try my best to mend the situation and-"  
"Mind if I come in?" Sho cut Jun off and the latter stared at him in confusion. "Maybe I can get her to quiet down. I did a lot of parenting with my little brothers and sisters. I'm pretty sure I can't make her cry worse than she is now." Jun seemed troubled to invite him in; he could see it in the way the younger one frowned, seemingly arguing with himself and then sighed in whatever defeat he was feeling, stepping aside with an inviting gesture into his house.

Now Sho had been inside Jun's apartment only once before, and that had been at the time the guy moved in. He was throwing a house warming party at the same time Sho was doing a lengthy report about the upcoming World Championship Athletics, while juggling other responsibilities at the same time, leaving him with sleepless nights. The one time that he could actually sleep at home in what seemed like forever was unhappily coinciding with Jun's party. And Sho had rung the doorbell to complain after three hours of sheer torture.

He had been ushered inside and someone pointed him to the owner - who was already drunk - offering him drinks instead of listening to his complaints. Sho was then introduced to a whole gang of various people who were playing drinking games while Jun had slung his arm around Sho's shoulders. The newscaster had always wondered if in fact Matsumoto Jun remembered how that particular evening ended. If in fact, he remembered being in the genkan sandwiched between Sho and the wall where they were dry humping each other.

Because Sho remembered. He remembered all too clearly how Jun had asked in a whispered voice if he would stay the night. Sho still remembered all the things Jun had said he would do to him if he stayed. And he had been quite persuasive. Sho clearly remember Jun's sweet little moans, the skin of his neighbour underneath his open shirt, and how he had teased Jun back with a comment to protect them both.

'As much as I would love to stay, I don't sleep with people who don't know at least my full name.' Jun had just smiled at that, deviously so, and Sho still couldn't figure out what Jun did to him, but with a flick of fingers to his hardened crotch something seemed to exploded within him and he creamed his pants right then and there, trembling against his mischief looking neighbour who responded with a comment of his own.

'That's such a shame, Sakurai Sho-san'. Jun had then opened the door and showed him out. He had licked his lips, triggering a fascination in Sho for the little moles residing there. There lay a knowing glint in the eyes of Matsumoto Jun. One that told him the younger one appreciated the care, and one which told him at the same time that he was stupid for not accepting the offer to stay.

Whatever happened then was never brought up again and their neighbourly relationship never surpassed the 'greeting-in-the-hall-way-if-we-see-each-other' stage. But Sho had wondered about it. A lot. He was only human after all, and how big was the chance really to find a guy living next door who was equally interested in men as he was. Or at least Sho assumed he was. He assumed a lot when it came to his neighbour.

 

Jun's apartment which had been quite orderly even at the time of the drinking fest was now pretty chaotic. Toys, papers, magazines, food spills on the rug, a messy futon on the floor next to a playpen - which contained a screaming baby. There was half build furniture in one corner which Sho recognised as parts of the interior of a baby room. Sho grimaced at the sight of things. This house was not really baby proofed.

"Hey little one. How are you doing?" he asked in a soft tone as he reached for the child with the tear stricken red face. Jun wiped his hands again and watched Sakurai hold the wiggling baby close to his naked torso. He patted her softly on the back and walked around Jun's messy living room, while he talked about nonsensical things to her. Jun had been doing that to no end for days. It drove him nuts until about twenty minutes ago when he had lost his patience and had retorted to screaming back at her. Seeing the gentle manner with which Sakurai handled his niece made him feel jealous - and grateful, truly he was.

He sat down on his couch, exhausted, running his hands through his hair in defeat and stayed leaning in that forward position as the loud screams seem to lessen a bit. His mind however was racing from one end to the other. From being thankful that his neighbour showed up to feeling like the complete failure he was. Clearly he wasn't cut out to be a parent. The extent of it was painfully demonstrated by the means of one Sakurai Sho and that made him feel pathetic and really sad inside.

Sho had taken her to the window and played with the curtains, telling her about the view outside; from the cherry trees down below to the park near Mount Fuji which they really couldn't see from this angle. But all the while he kept her distracted and his tone to her never changed. His niece seemed to relax and Jun could hardly suppress a sigh in relief. The jealousy however stayed, but changed from being jealous of Sakurai being the hero in this story, to being jealous of his niece who seemed to have given up resisting and now resigned to being comforted by this nearly complete stranger. It was unsettling how he wished he could switch position with her. To be comforted and get the support he needed to pull through this hectic time in his life. The sight of them was so painful as the crying stopped all together in less then the ten minutes Sho had been inside. Why couldn't it have been him to get her to quiet down, why couldn't it just be him? Jun had tried everything in the book and -

"Are you okay?" Sho sat down beside him with a sleeping Mariko in his arms, watching him with a weird expressing in his eyes as Jun looked away feeling caught in his jealousy. His cheeks were wet by the tears he hadn't noticed were running. He used the stained cloth to wipe them away much to the horror of the newscaster.  
"Yeah, just peachy," Jun said sounding apologetic and sighed, showing the small smile Sho had come to know so well in the past year. "Thanks for that," he indicated to his niece sleeping peacefully. Sho gave him an encouraging smile. But Jun just had to follow it up with, "I'm betting the whole block will be indebted to you now. Sakurai Sho, the hero who saved them all from the crying baby from hell."

The words hadn't left his mouth before Jun shook his head in disbelieve. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve that." Sho didn't respond. He didn't have to. He knew when things grew over one's head one could lash out unpredictably. In the silence, the peaceful quiet, Jun sighed again before standing up. Sho had the inkling that he would be shown to the door but instead was surprised when Jun offered him something to drink.  
"Matsumoto-san, please sit down and rest up a bit. No need to worry about being a proper host. You must have been awake for as long as she was crying."

"Can I ask a question?" Sho questioned when Jun had sat down again. He could sense the other was on guard around him for some reason. It gave the impression Jun remembered what happened the last time he had been here. However, that was not what Sho was thinking about. Jun hummed affirmative to the inquiry. Right now, Sho could ask him anything for getting his niece to sleep like that. The storm of emotions just grew that much more uncontrollable as new tears welled up with the thought of what he was doing wrong with her.

"Don't you have any one to help you with the situation? You don't have any contact with your parents?" Sho couldn't really phantom anyone without a strong bond with their parents. But Jun shook his head; even if he didn't face him, Sho could see the tears.  
"They died in the plane crash with my sister and her husband."

 

Some say 'men shouldn't cry', but there was also common sense to how much grief a single person could bare on their own. Sho couldn't even imagine what it had to feel like to lose every one close to you in a single blow, and being left with an infant to care for, at that - it left no room to grief, to mourn. Heck he couldn't even see the tiniest of shrines in their honour.  
"Do you want to hear something funny?" Jun asked humourless as if it wasn't the best thing ever he wanted to share with him. Sho looked at him expectantly, smiling encouragingly, but that smile faltered completely when Jun dropped the punch line to the joke, "I learned about their deaths watching your coverage of the plane crash on the news."

There was nothing to say to that. What could he say to that? Matsumoto Jun had a talent for flooring him completely with a single comment. And all he could think about was that he should perhaps apologise when Jun continued glancing at him from the side.

"Thank you for that. Honestly. Else, I might not have known. At the very least I was able to save my niece from foster parenting." He leaned in and gently touched the cheek of his sleeping niece. It was the first natural behaviour he had seen since he entered the house between Jun and his niece.  
"You didn't have the best of relationship then, you and your family?" Jun smiled at the question and shook his head.  
"I guess in my line of work, it's natural." When Jun didn't elaborate Sho felt inclined to ask, but then again he didn't know how much he was allowed to pry into the private life of his neighbour.

The newscaster was left with nothing to say and the moment, in which he felt a strong feeling that he should perhaps reach out to Jun and pull him close too, passed them by. Jun got up and offered to make at least coffee. It was an offer Sho couldn't refuse, according to Jun, because morning was upon them and at least Sho deserved some kind of treat for making the little baby girl go to sleep.  
When Jun returned with the tray he took his niece from the newscaster and laid her down in the playpen. Sho frowned.

"Doesn't she have a bed?" Jun pointed to the wood work. "Working on it, but it's hard to concentrate with her screaming in my ear." Sho eyed the futon.  
"You're sleeping beside her? No wonder the both of you are exhausted. She needs her space as much as you do." Jun arched a brow, hands going to his sides as he questioningly looked at his neighbour the anger becoming apparent in his eyes.  
"I'm sorry, are you a parent? I don't think you have any right to come in here and -"  
"Slow down, Matsumoto-san. I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."

Jun sighed, deflating the tension, and even that sounded apologetic.  
"I don't mean to lash out at you either. I'm so on edge right now. And it feels weird she's so quiet for a change." He sat down beside Sho, eyeing his sleeping niece suspiciously.

Sho reached for his coffee and Jun noticed the lack of clothes on the newscaster again. Bare chest, bare feet, with only sweat pants on - that was at least two sizes to big for him.  
"You should take advantage of situation and go to bed yourself, Matsumoto-san," Sho said after sipping from his coffee, holding the mug in both hands, watching the clouds of steam twirl about. Jun would love to. Honestly he would, but he feared that the whole crying thing would happen as soon as Sho would take his leave, because by now Jun was in full understanding that the universe seemed to hate him - and it was holding a grudge.

"What if she cries again?" Sho shrugged with a smile.  
"Then you get out of bed, pick her up, and just talk to her about anything." He made it seem so simple, which to Jun it wasn't. He wanted to point that out, when Sho sighed and continued eyeing his neighbour quite seriously. "I know why you don't get her to stop crying." Jun looked astonished and Sho's smile brightened up a bit at his neighbour's curiosity. "You're stressed out of your mind. You can't grief the death of your loved ones; all of your time is going to her and her endless crying - which, I hate to tell you, you are causing by being stressed out of your mind."

Welcome to the cycle Jun already knew he was in, and he didn't look all that impressed with the newscaster which made Sho's smile turn into a knowing smirk. "You've figured that out already?"

Jun nodded as he reached for his own coffee and added the tiniest bit of sugar to it.  
"The question I'd like to pose is as follows: 'how do I stop being the cause of her stress'?" Sho leaned into the cushions of Jun's couch and closed his eyes for a moment leaning his head against the backrest. To stop stressing, one should become relaxed. Relaxation came from healthy diets, enough rest and sound sleep. He really should head back to safe whatever he could of whatever little sleep he should have, but instead there were all kinds of situations running through his mind to make Jun destressed. Images from sending him to bed, to sending him to a massage parlour, to visions of him massaging Jun, his fingers tracing the muscles on his back... on his chest... his stomach... his -

 

He opened his eyes abruptly and sat up straight, hoping the train of thought didn't set of any other parts in his own body. What a time to be thinking about that! Right next to the man himself, no less. He blamed the lack of sleep. He cleared his throat, feeling embarrassed and hyper aware of the other, before glancing his way. Seemed Jun wasn't doing any better. The latter sat motionless next to him and he thought his neighbour might have fallen asleep if it wasn't for the very slight hitching in his breath and the blush crawling on his skin. Sho looked away feeling a little devious, seeking for something clever to say.

"What are you thinking about, Matsumoto-san?" Jun didn't respond right away, just opened his eyes, the colour on his cheeks deepening some more as he stared ahead without really seeing anything. His lips were slightly apart and Sho couldn't help remember the feel of them when he had kissed his neighbour a long time ago. He had his share of drunken kisses in dark places but, for whatever reason, that particular kiss with Jun seemed everything except drunk. It hadn't been sloppy, full of tongue, or rushed to get to the good part. It had been designed to seduce, to entice and -

No! Stop thinking along those lines, right now! Sho scolded himself before coming aware that Jun was watching him. There was something in his eyes from which he couldn't look away. He was sure Jun wanted to say something. In return Sho really needed him to say anything, anything at all. He watched his neighbour swallow away whatever he had on his mind and with that action the look that had captivated Sho changed to apologetic and shy. Jun diverted his sight, searching the room for nothing in particular. It felt like that moment not too long ago when there was a similar feeling, a moment which had then passed them by and Sho was not letting that happen again.

Jun seemed to make up his mind about something, wanting to get up, and probably say something to show him out. The newscaster felt it with every fibre in his body, but he wasn't ready to leave yet and he was searching frantically for something to prolong his stay.

As Jun put his coffee mug on the small table, Sho followed his move a little hurried, taking Jun's arm before the latter could stand up, pulling him flush against him. It just worked out a little different from that perfect moment he had envisioned.

He'd hoped to offer some kind of consolation; that Jun would accept his support and - he hoped - would just surrender or cry, or grieve, or do whatever else he needed.

However, what happened was something he couldn't predict; Jun's mouth came in to heavy contact with Sho's shoulder from the sudden rather wild pull on his arm; the resulting loss of balance made Jun drop against him, instead of falling gracefully into his waiting arms. The whole impact caused Sho to jerk away from Jun as sharp teeth scratch over the skin of his shoulder; Jun created even more distance between them, jumping backwards, holding his fingers to his painful pounding lips in pure shock.

Wide eyes filled with disbelieve sought the newscaster's as he blinked and showed Sho the blood sticking to his digits. Sho felt mortified, on the verge of apologising. Surely Jun would be angry enough to send him away now. Jun probably never would want to lay eyes on him ever again. What the heck had he been thinking? Those kinds of things only worked out well in movies, they never worked out in real life! He met Jun's upset stare and prepared for the worst possible scenario his mind could come up with.

Instead the shoulders of the latter were shaking and the dubious look changed to a smirk and from there into half a laughter.  
"What the hell kind of move was that?" Sho couldn't answer, taken aback by the change in Jun he didn't expect. But the laughter was good to hear. He hadn't heard it before today, hadn't seen a true smile reflected in those eyes of his. That drunken moment in the genkan from almost a year ago didn't really count in Sho's opinion. But this laughter made him want to do all the stupid stuff he could think of to make Jun laugh again, to keep the shine of it in his eyes.

But in the silence, even with the best of intentions, where Sho regarded Jun as some one he'd love to help out, the moment was lost and Sho could feel it slip away. Jun bit his lower lip, sucked on it for a moment and Sho, despite being the cautious sort, couldn't think of anything else than wanting to take over the job of sucking that bottom lip with the little moles on it. He'd love to find out again how Jun tastes, blood and all. To feel that lip slip between his, to deepen that kiss to a proper one, with Jun beneath him, right here on this couch. That feeling grew to be so strong Sho almost reached out when Jun smiled shyly and commented, "I'm almost afraid to ask what you are thinking about."

Sho made an awkward sound that held between a mocking laugh and embarrassment, reaching for his still halve filled coffee mug instead and drink the cooled down contents. "Maybe it's wise not to ask," agreed Sho in a tone softer than he had used talking to Mariko. He had just wanted to stop Jun from yelling to his kid, and now he was envisioning kissing him all over again. He had lost precious sleep and all he could think about now, was how he could get Jun into bed, preferably his. But Sho's comment made Jun smirk again glancing at his neighbour. "I'm not known for being wise."

That was an invitation if ever Sho heard one. And yet with it came the uncertainty, because in the end, rash decisions seldom worked out well for him. It brought back the memory of the both of them in the genkan and how he had regretted not acting upon the invitation then. His neighbour decided to put more fuel on the fire by adding,"In case you are still wondering, I have known your full name ever since the moment you stepped into my apartment the first time around, Sakurai Sho."

Jun was leaning in a bit, waiting for him to make up his mind. In any of his fantasies this would lead to a kiss unrivalled by any other, a kiss so profound that he would ruin any other guy for Matsumoto Jun. But those were fantasies, and this - this was reality. And, as Sho leaned in, reading into Jun's dark eyes, neither of them was drunk this time.

The kiss was tentative. Not heated, like in his dreams, not wild and passionate. It was calm. Just his lips on Jun's, nothing more. And yet that gentle pressure send his heart rate flying. He leaned in some more to Jun's seated position, which was slightly forward, leaning his elbows on his knees, his fingers intertwined. He could taste the very faint metallic taste of his blood. It made him conscious of the fact he barely knew Jun, it made him conscious about existing blood deceases. And still he kept on applying pressure, moving closer. His hand found Jun's knee, apart from their lips the only touching between them. This was not at all how this kiss should be happening. There were so many things wrong with this kiss; the most important being that Jun didn't seem to want to cooperate with this kiss at all. This was even his idea, right?

Sho backed away, feeling unsure about how to proceed, almost not wanting to look Jun in the eye. The glance in them was one of curiosity, watching his eyes just as intently.  
"Why did you stop?" Sho blinked to the question feeling rather hopeless. _Why? What do you mean 'why'? Evidently you don't want to be kissed, or you don't seem to be very enthusiastic about it._ So, should he say this out loud? How many more chances would he get to actually kiss Matsumoto Jun if he didn't take this one?

He felt unsure what to do and maybe, just maybe, Jun picked up on that. The younger man touched his own lips with a kind of wondrous look and continued with a dreamlike voice, "You have no idea how long it's been since I've been kissed like that." This just was too much confusion to handle for the newscaster. Wasn't that something you'd say AFTER you've been thoroughly kissed and couldn't tell left from right any more?? What the fucking hell?! He barely even got the chance to suck on the guy's lips, for crying out loud!

Sho gripped his hair in frustration, staring at the floor between his feet with wide open eyes.  
"You didn't like it?" Jun questioned a bit perplexed and the tone with which Jun spoke caused his heart to beat heavily with guilt, "Did I take to long to enjoy it?" Perplex was being an understatement as Sho helplessly looked him in the eyes from the side.  
"Jun," he mumbled, not knowing where he was going with his words, nor what he actually wanted to say, "I..." He sighed troubled. Jun, however, misread the situation completely and nodded getting up.  
"I'm sorry for wasting your time, Sakurai-san. I'll show you out now before things get awkward." He carefully avoided to look at Sho and gestured the stunned newscaster should follow him. He watched Sho put the house slippers away. "Thanks for your help with Mariko, and taking care of me. I think I can take it from here."

Once Sho was out the door Jun spared no time closing it directly behind him. As he entered his own house he hoped Jun's niece would start crying again - so he had a reason, a stupid one, to come over again. And when he would open the door, he'd press Jun up against the wall and kiss the guy like he ought to be kissed until they both would see freaking stars!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When things grow above your head, what do you do?  
> Jun is asking himself that very question...

The crying was relentless. Maybe unyielding was a better word. Sho smirked to himself as he gave up on sleep after the rude awaking. Of course, Mariko wouldn't stop crying over night, just like he predicted. After all this was going to be his chance to make right by Jun once and for all. He hurried in his pyjama slacks out the door and without warning entered Matsumoto's residence. 

A surprised Jun holding his little niece in his arms watched him coming with big eyes. Eyes that conveyed wonder and lust. The kind of eyes that haunted Sho in his dreams at night. Jun backed away, caught of guard by Sho's sudden appearance, as smirk forming on face. Before the young man could utter a word, Sho had him up against the wall and claimed those lips in one perfectly executed movement. The impact had Jun gasping for air, which Sho used to push his tongue inside his mouth. His hands grabbed on to Jun, making sure he couldn't go anywhere. This was one kiss he wouldn't escape. Jun moaned with the unexpected intrusion, but welcoming the surprise kiss. 

Finding no resistance, Sho let go of his hold and moved his hands to Jun hips pulling his lower body closer to his. Damn it, why did the guy have to be fully dressed this time of night? He rubbed up against his neighbour, leaving no guesses to where he wanted this kiss to go. Jun's mouth was hot, the scent of him addictive making him hungry for more. He needed more. Jun's eye were dreamy as they shared a look, when Sho took the time to catch some much needed air; the glossy kind of look which basically told Sho Jun was ready for anything Sho wanted from him. 

Sho just wanted to kiss for now; to just feel his mouth on his, to nibble on those lips with the moles on them, to trace them with his tongue and to fight over dominance with his. God, he wouldn't mind being dominated by Jun. That would be extremely hot and seductive. He imagined he could easily treat the skin on Jun's neck to some much needed attention, and following that to undress him ever so slowly.

Jun moaned again, so softly, with his eyes closed as Sho leaned against him, one hand on the wall beside Jun's head, the other stroking his neighbour's ass through his jeans. This kiss was slower, more intense, and selfish in nature. Jun's hand moved to cup his cheek, his fingers warm and sticky against him as he welcomed, leaning into the touch. The stickiness smeared but he didn't care. All he wanted was Jun sandwiched between him and the wall. There was something warm spreading along his naked feet, feeling like thick water. It tickled along side his bare soles. Jun leaned against the wail, creating some space as he let his tips of his fingers play with Sho's lips, rubbing what ever was on his fingers over Sho's mouth. It tasted like...

Blood. 

It was pooling around his feet, filling his mouth where Jun had toughed his lips. Next to Jun lay his niece with bashed in skull. Sho got physically sick; his stomach turned, eyes bulging, chocking as if he couldn't breathe. Where had Jun gotten the knife?? He didn't know. He could feel the burning stabs as Jun drove the metal into his body, Jun's voice echoing as he screamed, "Leave me the fuck alone!"

 

Sho awoke wildly in his bed, clutching his sheets like a life line, instantly veering up and trying to get away from what was haunting him when he regained his baring. Trying to catch his breath as if he had been chocking, gulping too much air, he sat panting with frantic beating heart, hands around his knees for awhile. Letting himself fall back again, doing some breathing exercises to calm himself down, he rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. He could feel the imaginary blood smears on his cheek burn, the essence of life crawl around his feet, the lifeless body of -   
Holy heck, hell no! Sho was having none of that this morning.

Upset he left his bed, tripping and almost falling over the bedding clinging to his legs, not wanting to let him go so easily. He practically ran into his kitchen, turning on the tap to drink straight from the water stream, washing the sweat from his face while he was at it to cool down. Leaning, holding on to the counter with nothing less than a death grip he listened with a beating heart to the noises from next door. Noises that had inexplicably seized to exist from one day to the next.

 

Jun had had no illusion that the situation with his niece would improve overnight. The crying didn't stop, nor did he have the feeling it would lessen anytime soon. He walked her around the living room, talking to her like he had seen Sho do. It was of no avail. The day after Sho had come to the rescue, after that second tragic kiss between them, Jun had lost all hope. Well, not all, as in every hope he ever had, but enough to warrant the action of temporarily moving out of the apartment, simply because he couldn't think straight anymore. 

Moreover, it would be more like a holiday than anything else. Just to get away from everything that was going on in his life right now. Not that Sho really was a factor in it, he barely even made it on to the equation, Jun reasoned. It was more the tension he was feeling every time Mariko opened her throat to scream like no tomorrow. It caused his heart to jump painfully against his ribs in fear Sho would show up again. Tension he didn't need right now - he had enough going on in his life without adding to it. 

He'd found the two of them a little bed and breakfast that had no trouble accepting 'a screaming child who could wake the dead'. The place was a nice little house on the edge of town, where life seemed a little less hectic than in the middle of down town. Instead of the small balcony which was part of Jun's apartment, they now had the chance to enjoy a backyard. By backyard, Jun meant a small strip of grass, shaded by tall trees and a very small terrace, which was big enough to fit maybe four people if they practically sat on top of each other. 

With the early sunshine of the day, nearly a week after he moved out, Mariko lay on her stomach on a blanket hitting a duckling made of all kinds of different fabrics. Her noises were happy ones for a change. If he had known that moving from the eleventh floor of his apartment to a small house would do the trick to settle them both down to a slower pace, he would have sold his apartment in a heartbeat. Thought it wasn't just the house he was in, or the change of pace that had attributed to the change in both of them.

Jun lay on his side playing with the duckling much to the amusement of his niece, walking it in front of her. Her laughter made him smile and it felt like he was in charge of things again. He pulled his niece to him and lay on his back holding her close in his arms.  
"It's just going to be us now, little lady, I'm all you've got for family. And you're all I have left. We belong -"  
"Nice and dark, Jun-kun," The owner of the house came out to the yard, putting a tray of lemonade down between them as he sat down. He shook the formula in the bottle he brought with him and tested it on his wrist like it was normal to do so before giving it to Jun. "I can only hope you're telling her fluffy stories before bedtime. You're not telling her the doom and gloom stuff, right?" Jun shrugged getting up, taking to bottle. Sho had said he should talk to her about anything, so why not tell her what kept him up at night. After all, it's the tone of voice and not the words that counted the most, as he had recently learned. Mariko drank greedily.

Aiba Masaki leaned his head on Jun's shoulder, making Jun laugh. "Go away, silly!"  
"Ah, but you are so cute together! You look happy when you feed her. I just need to be a part of your happiness." Jun let him stay, leaning his head against that of his new friend. He didn't really know if he could call Aiba a friend; after all, he was just renting a room in his house. But after the first night of screaming, come morning when it was still dark outside, Aiba had walked into his bedroom look quite sleepy, dressed much like Sho had been in oversized slacks, rubbing his eyes. Without a word, he had taken Jun niece and started walking away with her much to Jun's horror.

"Wait! I'm sorry! I -" He started walking after him, trying to get her back. Aiba stopped mid hallway and point resolutely to his room, while holding Mariko protectively against him.  
"You! You go sleep! Get some rest!" Jun shook his head reaching out for Mariko. Aiba just turn his body, preventing Jun from doing so. "Listen to me, Jun-kun. You need sleep. You've been up all night." The words of Sho being echoed by another.   
"I will as soon as you give her back to me."

"As if any of us will get sleep with this noise," Aiba countered as he kept shielding her from his attempts to get a hold of her. In the end, Jun lost his composure, being too exhausted to keep up good appearances.  
"Damn it, Aiba-san! I'm not kidding. Hand her over!" Mariko added some more volume to her loud vocal range hearing Jun's anger. That had been the last straw, because he had been trying so hard not to lose it. To always speak with the love he felt for her in his voice like he had seen the newscaster do. And now he saw the full effect, could feel the full effect of it in both his tiny niece and in the character of his landlord.  
"Not when you're yelling like that, I won't." 

Even before speaking, he was already noticing the change in the younger man. There was the shimmer of pain in his eyes he had seen at least four times over the day. And he sighed, putting the baby into Jun's arms. He pushed Jun against his shoulders towards the dining room, and passed that, to the living area and pointed at the couch.  
"Have a seat, Matsumoto-san. I'll get us something to drink and then we will talk. Is that okay with you?" Hugging his niece, Jun just nodded, not caring for the tears running. He was turning into a cry baby. Every emotion seemed to choke him up and it was for the umpth time in a short week he noticed the weird effect his tears had on his precious little girl who seemed to quiet down as he let go.

Aiba came with coffee and a bottle. When Jun first arrived, Aiba had been all over her, checking her out as if he had never seen a baby before; prodding with his fingers in her sides and running them across her tummy, underneath her tiny feet and hands. Mariko had laughed and giggled, moving about when he tickled her and made funny voices, making Aiba laugh and giggle too. To Jun, watching them, it was as funny as it was troublesome. Like with Sho, every one seemed to make her laugh. Every one except for him, making his mood gloomier than it should have been. 

It also hadn't taken Aiba long to figure out the load the uncle seem to carry even without knowing the cause of it. The guy wanted to laugh, he was sure of it, but he barely cracked a smile. Aiba, however, was a people person, one that loved to laugh - or cry - depending on the mood, but he had a love for life and what made him happiest was sharing that love with every one he encountered, making him energetic and cheery in nature.

Aiba had given him the bottle, which he had taken reluctantly. Mariko had quieted down considerably since Aiba had gone to the kitchen.  
"I'm not sure she's hungry," Jun muttered not wanting to sound unappreciative. The owner shrugged without giving a care whether or not she would.  
"If she doesn't want it, she doesn't. The point is more that it gives you something to do, though." He sat next to them watching the halve smile creep on Jun's lips as he held his niece so she could drink. His face, even with the smile, was red and tear-stricken. There was so much pain there that it felt really unfair the young care taker of his niece had to bare it seemingly all alone. Maybe he was running from something, some haunted past, chased by demons he didn't know how to handle - and everything he ever wanted to do was take care of his little niece.

Aiba choked up at the image and reached out to Jun's head, pulling it against his shoulder. He could feel Jun stiffen at the action, but as his fingers went through his hair, playing around through the strands, there was the sound of a sob. Aiba hoped it was Jun. It would be way weird if he was the one crying out loud; it was just that his heart was breaking knowing that the other carried so much pain inside of him. Jun had leaned into him, letting go of some of the anguish, while they huddled against each other, heads and shoulders connecting. No words were said; Jun watched his niece with teary eyes and Aiba moved to engulf them both in his warm embrace.

It felt good, protective. He could feel Aiba's lips travel the skin of his temple and for a split second Jun could imagine them kissing. Imagine them being happy together, the three of them. A happiness that he needed, he wanted more then anything. But nothing happened. Aiba didn't cross the line, he just held them, making Jun tear up that much more. He couldn't even remember the last time he had experience a hug like that, without strings attached, one that felt unconditional and profound in loving them, even if Aiba was just a stranger.

 

In the course of the almost two weeks they were there, they'd received a lot of those hugs. Mariko received the most of them, of course, but Aiba swore it was just because she was so damn cute compared to Jun. But Jun was cute too, that was not what he meant. The way Aiba talked enthusiastically, and making sure Jun received nothing but compliments grew on Jun quite fast, even if he knew it wouldn't last for ever. Jun moved from being jealous all the time to being just grateful that some one else could step in for a minute of two while he worked out the messy bits in his life that still needed fixing. Little things like his work. It had taken a considerable amount of courage to turn on the phone again after a full month of being unreachable for any one.

He wasn't exactly spammed to death; in the whole month, there were seven messages waiting for him. Only three were from his work, and made by just one person; Ninomiya Kazunari. It was a bit surprising, because if was up to Jun he'd say they weren't on the best of terms. And what was perhaps more surprising, was the fact that these were all voice mails and Ninomiya did not have his cell phone number last time he checked. He worked through the remainder, putting Nino's messages on hold every time he heard his voice. That had been four days ago. He knew the time to postpone things was running out and he was clinging to this weird little happiness bubble with all his might.

A happiness that couldn't last. But that was how they both ended up feeling at peace in Aiba's back yard. Aiba smiled radiantly as he trailed his fingers over Mariko's tummy.  
"Don't tease her, while she's drinking," chastised Jun trying to shrug him away.  
"Puh," pouted Aiba, "Maybe I should tease you while you are drinking, instead, then." Jun stuck his tongue out at him.  
"You are welcome to try," he joked. Ever since he'd gotten Mariko, he hadn't even touched a single beer. Drinking in the company of Aiba could prove... He didn't know what it could prove. It would either be very entertaining, or it would plainly end in disaster. 

Morning ended, Mariko went for a nap and Aiba was cleaning up inside, refusing any help because after all 'that's what you pay me for.' The thought of drinking with Aiba, or actually doing anything in the company of his host kept lingering on his mind, even after a topic change or twenty. Lying alone, in the mid afternoon sun on the thin blanket in the yard, listening to the birds sing and fly about between the trees and scrubs, didn't really help set his mind at ease. Because in all sense and purposes Aiba Masaki was probably the easiest person alive to fall in love with. It would be hardly any work to wrap him around his finger, Jun mused to himself. He could imagine an evening when they would drink, and touch playfully, innocently, with lots of laughter and silliness until it ended in kissing. Warm lips against his, his body against him, the feel of his hands roaming his skin. If Aiba's scent was anything to go by, it made Jun wonder how sunshine on a clouded day actually tasted like.

He could imagine, topping Aiba, riding him, seeing the shine and light in his eyes. It had become nothing less than an addiction. It wouldn't matter if some one would overhear their moans, their noise of pleasure and passion, if anything; it turned him on more.  
But the image changed as his mind came up with another sensation that took his breath away. Roles were switched and he found himself on his back, topped by the very guy he was trying to forget.  
It was Sho who kissed him now; Sho, whose mouth travelled his skin enticing stronger sounds from his lips than Aiba had. It was him, who Jun needed to be by his side. Imaginary or not. Even if it didn't make sense to him. He needed Sho in his life.

Jun pulled him back up, back to his mouth where he belonged, as he crossed his legs over Sho's back, keeping him almost immobile. Jun muttered soft things against those plum lips, licking over them, not wasting time like he did the last time. He needed a deeper meaning to the kiss, needed a deeper meaning to everything they were doing or were bound to do. Their tongues found each other, dancing around, teasing, distracting. There were little bites and nibbles, soft sighs and heated movements between their bodies. Jun held on to him, both his arms around Sho's neck, his nailed digging into his flesh, knowing that if he would go Jun would scratch open the tender skin beneath them.  
"Don't ever leave me." The words were out there, spoken by Jun and Jun repeated them to his lips, against his ear, breathless, meaning every word as Sho made him his.

 

"Should we ask what he's dreaming about?" The voice of Aiba sounded from far away, bringing Jun back to the here and now. "Do you see that, Mariko-chan? He's smiling. I bet he's dreaming of rainbows and ponies. Should we ask him?" The smirk grew wider; Jun felt it creeping along the line of his lips, opening one eye suspiciously to watch Aiba sit next to him with his niece. She was watching him, with as many fingers in her mouth as it would hold. Aiba was almost leaning his head on her tiny shoulder, looking intently as well.

"I'd rather you forgo that question," Jun mumbled with a mischief grin.  
"Oh, you hear that, Mariko-chan? He's dreaming of things not meant for you to hear." Aiba pouted mockingly, "And here we were thinking you looked 'soooo innocent'." But the way Aiba said that last words he made sure Jun knew how 'innocent' he really looked.  
"I brought you phone with me, Jun. It kept ringing." He gave Jun the device with the blinking light. The display read the name of Nino with the number six attached to it. "Is Nino some one you are running away from?" ventured the owner of the house seeing the doom appear in Jun's eyes. 

"Not really. It's some one from work." Aiba nodded, not that he had a reason to question it further. But as Jun put the phone aside and played with Mariko's wet hands Aiba couldn't quite put a lid on things.  
"If that's work, shouldn't you call them back? Or are you so high up the food chain that you can actually skip work?" Jun blinked at the question, looking slowly up to meet the other's eyes. Mariko sensed the change and huffed.  
"Isn't that something you shouldn't ask ANY of your patrons? You're crossing a line here - I'm pretty sure of it." It sounded jokingly, but the gleam in Jun's eyes contained a clear warning.  
"I'm not sorry for asking. I'm just inquiring. We are friends are we not? That's stuff we should know about each other, isn't it?"  
"I thought we were, but maybe I was mistaken. Friends don't pry into each other's lives like that." Jun took Mariko and stood up walking away. "Maybe we've overstayed our welcome."   
"You can't keep running from whatever you're running from, Jun. Eventually, it will catch up to you!" Aiba watched them go inside before he mumbled rubbing his hands over his pulled up knees, "I learned that one by heart the hard way."

 

At nearly five am Sho awoke from another nightmare. Pounding heart beats were what he woke up to; they were his faithful companions in the morning. Sleep went from what ever he usually got, to waking up every half hour or so. But now, now, the sounds from outside triggered his interest, doing nothing to still the beating of his heart - if any, the heavy pounding increased. He could swear he heard the voice of Jun coming from the balcony. But he might be delusional by now. 

Before doing the smart thing and just ask at the front desk of their building if Jun still lived at his place, he was working up the nerve to call on him. After a couple of days of ringing his doorbell he felt ignored and shut out and it had hurt as hell to be treated that way - which was of course every right of Matsumoto Jun's - after all the guy didn't owe him anything. They weren't dating, heck they weren't even friends or seeing each other sociably. After learning from the building's manager that Jun had left for unsure amount of time he felt heart broken for reasons he couldn't explain. 

But he wasn't anything if not professional. So it wouldn't show up on the news how he was truly feeling, and burying himself in his work even more than usual just seemed like the right thing to do. It had people talking and worrying that he was possibly overworking himself. Which was fine, it beat answering questions on a personal level. 

But now the sound of Jun's voice - was it really Jun? - was coming from the open balcony doors and he was up and out of bed, sprinting and hopping - why don't these sheets ever stay on the bed? - to come to a standstill with the curtains in his hand looking down at his underwear. He wasn't really wearing anything besides those. He didn't want to run outside being naked like that and say: 'Hi Jun!' or 'Good morning, Jun', or maybe just a 'Yo'. Nope, definitely not 'yo' - this was not a 'yo' kind of situation. He grabbed both his sheet and pyjama bottoms, looking from one to the other. It would be fun to saunter outside in a sheet, leaning casually over the railing, welcoming Jun back, but he the feeling that that was just not sending the right kind of message. Jumping into his slacks, he halted in front of the curtain again. What if he had already retreated inside? Wouldn't that look stupid? What would he do if Jun wasn't there? Call out for him?

He listened intently, not wanting to come across too eager, to give away how weird it was to be missing him - when clearly they didn't even know each other that well. But Jun was still there, talking to his baby niece. With pounding heart and sweaty palms, the voice of Jun was turning Sakurai Sho, newscaster extraordinaire, into a nervous 'love stricken' kid again. So, how should he act? What should he say? Before his mind could come up with some proper answers, he body was already out the door and onto the balcony watching a welcoming sight of Jun sitting on the floor, basking in the early sunrise. 

He looked at easy, some how different from last. Sho leaned his arms in the railing, mesmerized by the image of Jun - not wanting to disrupt that image of a peaceful Jun - until the latter looked up and smiled at him in greeting.  
"Good morning, Sakurai-san. I didn't wake you did I?" But he didn't seem too worried about it.  
"Morning, Jun-kun. Morning, Mariko-chan. And no, you didn't. But I thought I heard you, so I came to check if I wasn't dreaming and -" He cut himself off, diverting his eyes away from Jun immediately questioning himself. What the heck was he saying? What the heck was that kind of greeting? When did he think it was ever appropriate to call Matsumoto but his given name, followed by 'kun' no less? 

The smile didn't waver, but there was some interest in Jun's eyes, followed by a chuckled at Sho's self embarrassment.   
"I took a brief holiday. A much needed one as it turned out." There was a glint in his eyes as he followed it up with, "Sounds like you missed us, Sakurai...kun." It was not quite the same, but the change from san to kun warmed his aching heart more than it should have. He wanted to respond, something suggestive or maybe just the utter truth of it - how hard could it be just to tell Jun he was very much interested in him? - when another man, dressed pretty much like Sho himself entered the balcony from Jun's apartment, handing Jun a bottle for Mariko.

Sho felt like he had been slapped hard, feeling all the blood drain from his face.  
"Thanks. Hey Masa-chan, this is my neighbour Sakurai Sho, the famous newscaster. Sakurai-san, this is Aiba Masaki." Sho nodded his formal greeting to the other who seemed cheery to meet his acquaintance. Why was Aiba Masaki's name shortened to Masa-chan? "I met him on holiday," Jun continued the introduction between the two making Sho feel even worse. Sure, he thought, kick a man when he's down, why don't you? You've known me for over a year, but him you call Masa-chan in less than a few measly weeks.

Sho took his leave as fast and normal as he could. He didn't want to lose his composure. Upon entering the bedroom, he collapsed almost missing the bed. The Cinderella pose was lost on Sho, feeling tears of frustration sting. How unfair was this? How cruel could life get by playing with his emotions like this?

"He doesn't seem to like me very much," came Aiba's concerned voice from outside. He could just picture the two of them cosily sitting together watching Mariko being fed.   
"Don't take it personal," Jun's response came to that. Sho could just see him shrug.  
"Shouldn't I? If looks could kill I'd be standing here dead." Very good, Masaki, very perceptive. Sho was glad that his neighbour's new friend got the message, grinning evilly at that. He was ready to fight for Jun, if need be. He was preparing for war, if push came to shove. Sho swore he was. He wouldn't go down without a proper fight!

"You sound offended, Masa-chan," Jun joked unaware that Sho was overhearing their conversation delivering the final blow, "There's nothing between us, I swear. There never has been."


	3. Chapter 3

Sho groaned. This was so unfair. It really was. The noise from next door was keeping him up most of his nights he spend at home. And those weren't too many days at that. He was working late every night and he had trouble to admit - even to himself - that working late was more because he didn't WANT to be at home anymore. Because, in the end, the noise wasn't the endless crying of Mariko that kept him up at night. Heck he had barely heard her cry at all lately. What kept him up this time were the happy noises of laughter from his next door neighbours sitting out on the balcony until late at night. Their talks - he wished he was their topic of discussion on more then that one occasion - never involved him. Not even when he had slammed the balcony door shut a couple of time; only regretting the action due to the August summer sun which was unyielding from the moment it rose till the moment it set. The heat was excruciating, and turned to suffocating with the door slammed shut.

Jun was frequently at his work now, leaving Aiba to care for the baby. He usually sat on the balcony or in the park in front of their building. For some reason Sho had already figured out that Aiba Masaki was quite the outside person. He had also found out that Aiba possessed a smile that could set the world in order again. The thing about the guy in Jun's house which Sho had the most trouble with was the fact that it was hard to really dislike the guy - even if he didn't talk to him. Aiba greeted him enthusiastically when ever they came across each other. The few times they had shared the elevator Aiba just chatted about everything that had kept him busy, apparently not noticing the reluctance in Sho to reply, or he just did not care about the silence. But Sho couldn't help himself to pay extra attention to Aiba when he threw Jun's name into the stories he was telling. And it had dawned on him that Aiba could very well be the one to mend to situation between himself and Jun. But Sho didn't think he was quite desperate enough to warrant such a low action - to ask Aiba to interfere. In his opinion that was lower than low, really.

And if had just been Aiba and Jun living next door it wouldn't have been such a problem to find out stuff about his neighbour. Clearly Aiba was some one who loved to talk, and as a news caster he did know how to ask question to get the information he wanted. No, now the problem only got more confusing. Because now the 'single parent guy' who claimed to 'have no one in the world to help him with the trouble in his life', seemed to pull people out of thin air and just put him inside his house to come and live with him. And that some one came in the form of another guy, a certain Ninomiya Kazunari.

The biggest trouble was that he knew about Ninomiya. Sho knew the guy was an artistic photographer, a director of short movies, and he had quite the following within the LGBT communities with his work and private causes for the movement. It gave Nino more prestige than Sho felt he should have. Ninomiya's movies weren't pornographic in nature - of course, quite a lot had sex in them - but they dealt with every day situations, centring the community vs outside world. Sho also happened to know he was the finalising editor of an underground magazine which was quite slutty in nature. Sho who prided himself in knowing a lot about everything, never had read said magazine. And it pained him that such a guy was now the acquaintance of his poor neighbour, who - Sho began to expect - had clearly no people-skill experience.

Sho rubbed his hands over his face in sheer agony of facing yet another sleepless night. Maybe he should just get up and throw himself over the balcony. That would make for an epic news item. "Newscaster extraordinaire plummets to death over nuisance neighbours." Sho smirked, but then he felt pity for himself and guilty at that. Was this what it had come too? He could just go out there and tell them to shut the heck up for just one freaking night, right? But even without the chatter outside, he would have trouble sleeping any way. Even with Jun back safe and sound living next to him and the way he conjured up guys to come live with him, the nightmares he had hadn't stopped at all. It had even come to the point that he was considering seeking professional help - or at least a strong batch of sleeping pills to knock him out at night that. But that would mean that he -.

The phone rang; the noise cutting sharply through his thoughts. The display lit up the bedroom flashing the name of his work when he grabbed the device from the night stand. He frowned, noticing the sudden lack of sound coming from outside. Were they listen in, as he often did on their conversations? It kind of set his heart pounding as he imagined Jun quiet and focused on what he was saying.

"Sho, you up? Shit just hit the fan. We need you to cast this item pronto." The voice of his boss wasn't even done speaking when there was a loud explosion, making Sho bolt to the balcony in just his underwear. He could hear his boss curse on the other line and yell orders to others. Being up high enough on the seventeenth floor Sho could see the smoke circling from the impact - or whatever was - happening on the other side of town. He'd been covering the tension between the gangs in the eastern part of town for weeks now. It seemed to have settled down, or so he had thought. Apparently that tension had now escalated beyond his imagination as a second and third explosion were heard in the same area. The impacts sending a shock wave that made the windows shake. Sirens were going off, both the city's emergency signal as the emergency services on the road. He could hear cars honking in the distance. Holy shit, what was going on there?

"I'll be down in ten. Send the car - I'm on it." He dashed back inside, taking the emergency backpack from his closet, missing the shocked look Jun threw him. He was standing on his balcony next door with his friends, watching the chaos unfold. The pack Sho grabbed was filled with two bottles of water, A bunch of protein bars, two clean shirts, some underwear, a small digital notebook and a paper one with a bunch of pens. It would at least get him through the first couple of days if need be. He paused for just a second looking up, thinking he had heard Jun's voice call out for him. But there was no time to dwell on that. Shooting into his clothes, slinging the bag over his shoulder, he made a run for the door after grabbing an apple and putting it between his teeth, getting his keys out and opening the door.

Jun heard him go, the sound of his door opening and closing. Feeling helpless he sprinted to his own door, and just as he opened it, he saw Sho fly by towards the elevators, but taking the stairs instead of waiting for the lift doors to open.  
"Sho!" Jun hollered after him, "Please keep safe!" He watched him disappear through the staircase door not sure if the guy had even heard him.

Nearly fifteen minutes later Aiba sat beside Jun on the couch, grimacing, watching the TV in horror. He put an arm over Jun's shoulder and pulled him close feeling quite helpless for the both of them. Sho was reporting, face covered with ashes, suit cover with whatever floated around. The news coverage seemed like a warzone from far away. The Army was in the middle of quarantining the area, not wanting to interfere in the dispute just yet. People could get out, provided they could prove who they were, but no one could go in. And Sho stayed. The internet filled Jun and his friends in with reports only minutes before Sho brought them up. The only thing the internet posts had of Sho's reports were the countless of videos that were taken with mobile phones and cameras - the ones which were not shown on TV.

 

"You need to tell him," it was the fourth time Nino said it as he snapped the shots with his camera of a teary eyed Jun. Aiba said nothing, he just stared at the two working. Or more at Nino working - Jun was a lost cause at the moment. The News was on - when had the TV ever been off in the past few days? - Jun had seen things online which he probably shouldn't have. But Sho was sound and safe as shown on the screen, doing his broadcasting of affairs seemingly tirelessly. Jun was also passed asking either of his roommates 'what should I tell him'; he was passed being angry at the questions fired at him because it were the same ones nagging at him in his sleep.  
"I don't know what to tell him, I just don't know." became his only muttered defence. Aiba had let lose some pretty interesting ways to get the two to date, which Nino approved off and added his own versions to them.

"Just tell him anything, I suppose," Aiba now said from his place, rocking a sleeping Mariko in his arms. Jun's house was full of pictures of Aiba and him with the little lady. Portait shots, poster shots, little pictures, close ups. But those didn't sell magazines or movies. Jun sat naked on his couch, tear stricken, with Aiba dressed in a bath robe, in the background. Nino checked the shots ever so often, rearranging lights.  
"Anything won't do," he countered Aiba's response, "Just tell him the truth."

Jun looked up at him with a sad smile. "I don't suppose you know the truth, do you?"  
"Perfect, hold that." He snapped the shots rapidly checking them. "Jun, you're more then just a little interested in the guy. Just tell him that." He took some more photos, with Aiba in the back ground.  
"Put the kid away, Masaki. Come over here."

"Might be the best thing to tell him," Aiba agreed sitting behind Jun as indicated by their current photographer. Nino grabbed hold of the robe and yanked it harshly to one side, exposing an impressive dark mark on Aiba's upper arm. Aiba rolled his eyes. "What's with your obsession with my birthmark, Nino." Nino shrugged with a smirk.  
"Last series, make it count." Aiba put his arms around Jun'd naked frame as if it was something he'd done a thousand times, leaning his head on his shoulder pulling him closer.

"Tell him the truth," Aiba instructed whispering into his ear, "Tell him you've only seen each other twice and that you kissed twice and that you'd like to kiss him again."  
"Tell him you'd badly need to hump his ass or you'll go insane," Nino offered snapping his camera to the sudden angered face of Jun. Nino was all smirky innocence. "What? Don't pretend that it isn't true. I can hear you at night, you know. You don't make it hard to guess what you actually want from him." Aiba softly laughed at that. His breath tickled his ear.  
"Reach up, cup his face Jun," Nino told him, which Jun did. Aiba stared into his eyes for a moment. There was so much compassion in those eyes, so much caring. The kiss that followed was natural. It was what is was. Just a kiss, just a form of strength. Aiba's lips were soft; his tongue brushed against his ever so slightly until Nino called 'cut'.  
"Great stuff, you guys," Nino almost cheered, flipping through the images, throwing Jun the other robe, "Come see."

Jun got sandwiched between his close friends as they pooled together to see the photos. That Nino came to stay was weird and unplanned, Jun thought, feeling his body heat against him. He came to check up on him, since Jun didn't answer his calls and the guy hadn't left since, telling Jun exactly what he thought of his predicament. As much as Nino love to be on his own, he was actually quite fond of the company of others and with the excuse that he didn't trust Aiba at all and wanted to keep an eye on them - just in case - Jun had let him stay. But by now Jun knew better because Ninomiya Kazunari wasn't as concerned about him as he had thought. He wasn't blind to the shine in the eyes of his boss glancing at an oblivious Aiba. Of course he could throw Nino out, but he let it be, enjoying their company and teasing more than anything as a welcome distraction.

It wasn't until the eight day that Jun - who had slept on the couch in front of the TV for days - heard the sounds on the door unlocking in the apartment next to him. There was some mumbling next door, some shoving and an angry sounding Sho drifted through the walls. Next there was the sound of a door slamming shut, followed by an agonising scream - which had Jun up and half way through the room before being stopped by a sleepy Nino.  
"Jun." Nino's voice and grip on his wrist stalled him, "Leave him be for now." Jun just stared not knowing what to do. "You don't know why he's back. You don't know what state he's in. Just leave it until morning.

 

A few days later Sho woke up to a pounding head ache, on the floor of his bedroom, feeling delirious and kind of jumpy when he heard the doorbell. It was not even two in morning. He opened to a tired looking Jun who sported a hesitant smile. Jun looked somewhat on edge, which matched Sho's inner turmoil.  
"Hi," Jun started with, because what else was he supposed to say? None of the things he had thought of sounded good to him after hearing Sho's icy screams cut through the night and he was pretty sure he had heard him falling out of his bed through the open doors of the balcony. Sho however frowned as he watched his neighbour without making eye contact.

"What do you want?" Wasn't that friendly, Jun thought to himself, but he turned up his smile some more. After all he would would be cranky too if he had fallen out of bed.  
"I wanted to know if you were alright." Now sho hesitantly met his eyes, leaning against the doorpost, sighing. He seemed to relax somewhat  
"I was screaming again," he said matter of factly, nodding to his own statement, "I seemed to do that a lot lately. sorry for waking you, Matsumoto-san."  
"Jun," said the other promptly to which Sho looked surprised, "Call me Jun. Just Jun."

"Sorry for waking you, Jun," Sho repeated slower and for some reason it felt like it was more meant than the previous version.  
"You know," Jun ventured, hoping Sho would tell him to call him by his given name too, "you can ask for my help whenever you need it. With anything at all." It just dawned on Sho that Jun was holding a baby monitor in case he was invited to come over. Sho didn't know how he felt about that. Before he could turn Jun away the guy presented him with a small piece of paper, putting it in Sho's hand as if he might refuse to take it.

  
"That's my number. Just call me, when ever, even if you don't want to see anyone and just need to talk or hear someone's voice or something - I don't know." His perfectly rehearsed monologue was forgotten and he seemed unsure of himself. Sho smiled at it, just a twitch.  
"Thank you." Jun nodded, turning to go back inside, because he didn't know what else to say when Sho said softly, "Really, Jun. Thank you. I appreciate it."

Sho read the number twice and put it on the counter with a cup on it so it wouldn't inexplicably blow away. In his bedroom however he got the really weird fear that come tomorrow Jun's late night visit might have been a dream. And so he hurried - clutching his phone in his hand - to the kitchen counter and punched in the number to save it in his contacts list. But by then his mind started to go around in circles; what if this wasn't his number? What if this was some other number? What if Jun just wanted to make a fool out of him? He stared at his phone feeling conflicted.

 ** _To Matsumoto Jun_**  
_"Test"_

He looked at the word, really? That's what he was going for? Just that one word? He finally got Jun's number and this was the first thing he was going to send him? Sighing he pressed the backspace to delete it and flopped back on his bed over thinking his plan to contact his neighbour, only to realise with the incoming sound of a text message that he had send it.

 ** _To Sho-kun_**  
_"Glad it works. Now I have your number too."_

Sho read it maybe four times all a once, before believing what it actually said. How could he not. This was a dream come true. Jun was actually happy to have his number.

 ** _To MatsuJun_**  
_Thanks again. I do really appreciate it._

He hadn't really expected an answer to it, but from out side of his bedroom Jun's voice sounded warm and friendly.  
"Good night, Sho-kun." 

 

Jun was mostly out and about with Ninomiya, or so he learned from Aiba Masaki who he came across in the hallway or 'their' building. Mostly Aiba was out and about too with Jun's niece strolling around the neighbourhood. He stayed energetic and friendly even if Sho did his best to ignore the guy. He really did want to dislike Aiba for staying with Jun, for walking around with the little girl as his own. But as time rolled on, in which Sho wasn't allowed to work, he grew restless. The view from his balcony annoyed him as it reminded him to the incidents which had happened in the course of the past weeks. Incidents which now kept him wide awake, and annoyed from the lack of sleep. What ever sleep he had was speckled with nightmares. He missed his work, missed being extremely busy and so his days began to slowly shape out in secretly following Aiba around. But even after three days of that he was going stir crazy until he couldn't really prevent himself from just sitting next to Aiba in the neighbourhood park. Just to keep his mind from making his life a hell.

Just sitting near the guy was weird in its own right. For all his energy - because that guy was all over the place; the bench, the slide, the sandbox - he excluded a lot of calm when he actually sat down. Sho just watched him go about the small park. It was rather interesting since Mariko couldn't do much since she was still so small.

"I wanted to ask you something, if that's okay," Aiba said out of nowhere after a short silence when he had sat down, rocking a sleeping girl in her stroller. Sho looked both interested as much as he dreaded a real conversation between them. He hummed his hesitant approval. "Are you on holiday or something?" Sho blinked at the question. "I mean, you seem to be always at home now. Jun told me you were always away for work. So, I am curious."

Curious. Aiba Masaki, the guy living with Jun was curious. Probably to how long he going to stay home, maybe he didn't trust Sho as much as Sho didn't trust him. "I was talking to the others and Jun said you might be staying home from work because of what happened. But as a workaholic - Jun's words not mine - staying at home - Whether it is for holiday or for reasons other than that - it seems like quite a devastating time to spend. It made me wonder. As a person who hardly stays still, I can relate some what. Maybe you wanted to do something together with us some time. Jun says you are quite good with kids. So, maybe you would like that instead of stalking me or just staying home."

That last part of the statement made Sho self conscious. He nodded, not because he really wanted to, but more because he would love to have something to do. And at this point the offered prospect seemed more appealing than the dreaded fact he was going to spend time with Aiba Masaki.

After separating ways Sho stayed home the following day. He couldn't really face Masaki - the guy could be friendly and harmless as fuck - but that didn't take away his embarrassment. Besides, it had only dawned on him when he had come home how often Aiba had said 'that Jun had said' this or that about him. And he couldn't help but question Jun's interactions with the other two, even if he wasn't really at liberty to ask. But as the situation stood right now he was beginning to wonder if they had a chance at all.

 ** _To Jun-kun_**  
_Can I ask you a question?_  
  
**_To Sho-kun_**  
_Ah! So you are still alive? I heard rumours you were. Sure, ask away._

Heard rumours? Had Aiba been talking about him? Sho frowned.   
  
**_To Jun_**  
_It's kind of personal and it's kind of non-of-my-business-stuff._  
  
**_To Sho-kun_**  
_Intriguing!!! Again ask away!_  
  
Sho sighed, second guessing the line of questioning he was about to engage in. Because Jun could very well tell him to fuck off. And that would just ruin any chance he had - if he still had any.

 ** _To Sho-kun_**  
_Is it_ THAT _personal? You know you can really ask me anything. What would you like to know? My most embarrassing moment in life?_ Falling for my boss _. Have I ever broken my mum's heart?_ I have _. The colour of my underwear today?_ Red _._  
  
Sho stared at the message feeling more embarrassed as he typed out what he wanted to know.  
  
**_To Jun_**  
_Please don't be mad at me for asking but it's driving me nuts. What is your relationship with Ninomiya-san and Aiba-san?_

There was no immediate reply to that. And the longer it took the more Sho feared he had crossed a delicate line. When his phone beeped he sighed before reading the message, chewing on his lip.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to personal situations I couldn't finish it sooner.

The wait for the text was aweful. But now it had come, it was hard to open the message for he didn't know what answer it would contain. Sho could imagine the worst possible reply sitting in his living room staring at his phone message saying it had received a text.

**_To Sho-kun_ **  
_About time you asked! I've been wondering how long it would take for you to ask me. Didn't expect it to be this long though._

Sho smiled relieved. He uttered a little laugh for being so paranoide and thought about what he wanted to write back when his phone prompted a second incoming message.

**_To Sho-kun_ **  
_To answer your question: Nino is my boss and Aiba is a friend. Simple as that._

It didn't seem all that simple to Sho, though. To have two guys living with you and claim them to be friends. Maybe friends with benefits. The thought stung more than it should. Jun wasn't under any obligation to answer his questions; they weren't dating, they weren't exclusive. And Sho had no business asking these silly juvenile questions.

**_To Jun_ **  
_You boss? The one you fell in love with? Why is your boss living with you? No wait, don't answer that._

He couldn't leave well enough alone and pressed send before he could stop himself. Nino was Jun's boss. Who, in their right mind, would let their boss live in with them. Heck, who in their right mind would let someone like Ninomiya stay with them at all?

**_To Sho-kun_ **  
_He's in between relationships, left his house to his ex. Needed a place to stay. And yes, that would be the boss I fell in love with._

Now Sho was wondering if he had ever fallen out of love with Ninomiya. And more over, if he had, what made that happen? Did they share a meaningful relationship? Had Ninomiya turned him down alng the line? Or maybe he had taken advantage of... Nino probably cheated on the poor guy. It was petty thinking - and again, none of his business. He pondered how he would follow up on their conversation. Wouldn't it be easier to have it in person?  
Sho tapped the device against the tips of his fingers. Was it too forward to ask what had happened between them?

**_To Sho-kun_ **  
_Wouldn't it be better to talk in person? I can come by tonight, if you want._

It had his heart pounding. His mind jumped from Jun coming over, to skipping the whole reason he would come over, to the taste of his mouth against his. It was both shocking and funny. He hadn't really seen Jun since he got back with the exception of Jun getting him his number. And it would be the first time Jun would in his house. If he would have been working the house would be a lot more messy.

 ** _To Jun_**  
_That would be nice. I'll make sure there is dinner waiting for you_.

He stared at the short message before sending not knowing what else to add. Maybe Jun didn't want to have dinner. Maybe that was too early. But then he realised that his cooking wasn't worth anything - because he couldn't even mince stuff, let alone prepare a decent meal - it was the sole reason why he ate out so much - that and the amount of overwork he did.

**_To Sho-kun_ **  
_Will there be candlelight? ;) Meet you at around 7._

Candlelight? Were they at that stage? Wait a minute - was he expecting romance? Wait were they dating? Sho breathed a deep breath, convinced that he somewhere along the line missed a huge step. Or maybe Matsumoto Jun just liked to rattle his cage a bit. Maybe he had already figured out how to work around his defenses - if he had any. Best thing to do now is take it step by step and figure out what to serve Jun with the candlelight he suggested.

  
Sho was leaning on a shoppingcart watching the vegetables in silence, contemplating what the heck Jun would love foodwise. He had drop the suggestion cards the supermarket offered their clientele in the cart - not because he thought Jun wouldn't like it, but more because he couldn't cook any of it. And no he was losing hope and officially trying to come up with a plan to have take out pose as home cooked food.  
"Hey, Sakurai-san," Aiba's cheery voice drew him out of his thoughts, "Doing shopping for your date tonight?"  
"Hi, Aiba-kun. News travels fast I see." He wanted to ask if it was really a date, it began to honestly feel like he had missed the dating thing.  
"It's not a date, Aibashi," Nino's voice rang out from the other side of the vegetable stand, "It's just a dinner and some lovely conversation."  
"Yes, that spells date to me!" Aiba said in a singsong voice, "so what are you making? Anything we can help you with."  
"And with we, he means himself," Nino clearified dropping some peppers in their shopping basket.

Sho sighed most dramatically than it needed to be, so he rolled eyes at himself and shrugged embarrassed.  
"Poor thing," Nino's voice sounded everything but sincere. Aiba elbowed him for it.  
"I ... I cannot cook if my life would depend on it. And I've got no clue what to make for him tonight. I was just think that maybe -"  
"You're not going to cancel on MJ, are you? He'd die!" Aiba finished Sho sentence for him. Aiba looked shocked, and so did Sho.  
"Are you kidding me? Heck no! I was wondering if I can make take out look like home cooked food." Sho sounded more unsure and even appologetic as he talked.

"Cream crab croque," Said while Aiba petted Sho's shoulder and thinking about the question at hand, "You can make a side dish of rice, some tuna salad, maybe some gyouza. It's not hard to make."  
"You forget I can't cook any of it."  
"Aiba will help you, I'm sure - if you ask nicely enough." But aiba was already buzzing with excitement looking around the store to see the ingredients they would need.  
"This is going to be so much fun! Come one, Sho-chan! We need ingredients for your date!"

 

  
They were sitting across from each other. There was just one candle in the middle and Sho was eyeing Jun carefully when he was about to taste the crab croquette. The bite made Sho swallow. And however small the reaction of recognition in Jun’s eyes was it didn’t get passed Sho. The small widening of the eyes, the small hold between the first two chews.

“You can say it,” Sho said feeling a bit nervous while Jun sported a smile.  
“This tastes a lot like Aiba’s cooking.” There was no judgement in his voice, nor the head on gaze he threw Sho.  
“It is Aiba’s cooking. I met them in the supermarket.” There was curiosity in Jun’s eyes. “ I … I need to tell you something.” The curiosity changed a bit to worried. “I really cannot cook if my life depended on it. I’m seriously bad a cooking anything. And if I should believe Nino I’m even a danger to anyone cooking with me.”

Sho didn’t really meet Jun’s stare, who began laughing softly by the embarrassed look Sho was showing him.  
“It’s really that bad?” Sho nodded. “ That’s okay. I can cook next time. I’ve got a question though,how did you get Nino to cook for you?”  
Ho shrugged. “ He came along with Aiba. He was the one who said you’d know it was Aiba’s cook. Of course he said that after we were done.”  
“Of course he did.”

“So what did you make of this dinner?”  
“ I set the table… Do you want more wine? I need more wine.” Jun laughter followed him to the open kitchen.  
“ That bad huh? Good thing I do know how to cook. I can at least show you the basics.”  
“Even with basics it will be horrible. Do you need more wine? I need more wine.”

Sho hurried to the kitchen area, knowing he wasn’t completely out of sight but needing to get away from Jun and that friendly humorous smile of his. He was beginning to feel uneasy, just wanting to progress the night and skip the talking part and drag Jun into his bedroom.  
The images flooded his mind and he was glad the coolness of the fridge was aiding his run away fantasies to cool down abit.

Dinner was quiet for a bit after that. Except for stares, eye contact and blushes with shy smiles. Sho drank a little more wine than he probably should.  
“So you were curious to my living arrangements? Especially Nino-kun had your attention.” Jun couldn’t have made Sho blush more.  
“I know I don’t have any right to ask any of this. I hardly even know you. But you have been alone and a few months ago you claimed you had no one and now there are two guys living next to you and I …” He stopped talking for a minute. “ I was just wondering how that happened.”

Jun smiled secretive and relaxed on Sho’s couch in the living room, wine glass in hand. “So I can see this as you taking an interest in me? Are you interested in me, Sho-kun?”  
“I am.” Jun seemed to weigh something off in his mind as he watched the guy next to him. It felt to Sho like he was judged for some reason. Judged if he was worth knowing what Jun was holding back on.  
“I have known Nino for years,” Jun started thinking and staring at the wine that was still in his glass, swirling it slowly, ”I had a good childhood, until I found out I was attracted to men. I was around thirteen I guess. If coming out at fifteen wasn’t hard enough, my mom couldn’t bare it. Her dream of grandkids went up in smoke - even though I still have my sister.” Jun sighed. “Before meeting Nino, my parents send me to camp.” The way he said camp was something that gave Sho instant chills.  
“ you mean…”  
“Yes, the kind to make your troubled gay teen a depressed self loathing not really straight teen.” Jun kept silent. “They weren’t even the religious kind. But it was horrible, so I will spare you the details.” Sho sat a little closer and linked his fingers with Jun’s without saying a word. He hoped his presence said enough.

“I can tell you about the heroic escaped we staged, but I’d be lying. I was too scared to try, so I sat out my time until I was deemed straight and returned home. But of course I was angry with my parents, I was more than a little depressed. My whole self image was wack and the day I turned seventeen I moved out before I was going stir crazy.” Jun set his wineglass on the low coffee table.

“I met Nino one the first night I went out. I researched a few bars online and just went to one on the edge of town.I just wanted to see what ‘gay life’ was like. I didn’t know anything. So the first guy who was friendly to me took me to the basement where - well you probably know.” Sho knew about the dark rooms - usually found in the basements of bars. The place where men had casual quick sex. But for Jun’s first time in such a place…

“We kissed, and I instantly knew it was wrong. So I said no and he didn’t let me go. Nino was there and pulled him off me, punched his nose. We then ran away.” Jun laughed just once at the ridiculousness of that time.  
“He then bought us some drinks and we just hung out in silence. Even though we only differ a few months in age, man, he seemed so much more wiser and older than I was.”

“We started talking after a while and he walked me home. After what happened at the bar I was fully aware of that even posing a danger, but he seemed harmless and genuinely caring. Weird huh.” There was another pause as Jun reminisced. “Anyway, I foolishly asked him to come up and was just shaking his head, standing really close. And he kissed me, just once. No tongue no hands… Just a kiss. And he then told me I was no where ready for that.” There was a smile. “I can laugh about it now, but that rejection hurt at the time. As time went by I didn’t dare go out, but Nino stayed on my mind for the longest time. Until he showed up at my door.”  
“Creepy,” Sho muttered to which Jun squeezed his hand slightly.  
“He told me he had plans and needed a model and thought of innocent little me. That kind of kick started the whole thing. Nino became my world, my guide. He was my first everything.”  
“That are some bold words, Matsumoto-san.” Sho didn’t know where the prefix came from and Jun nodded the smile fading.  
“On the contrary of what people think about Nino and what he stands for, Nino is caring above anything else. He’s quick to defend the people he loves and he will go through hell just to see them happy if he can.”  
“I can tell you are the same. I didn’t mean anything by my previous comment. It’s just a lot to live up to.”

“I don’t expect you to live up to anything. You don’t have to compare yourself to him if that’s what you are thinking. Do you even know what it is I do for a living?”

“You model for Ninomiya-san, you just told me.”  
“I do more than just model, Sho-kun. I’ve done everything Nino is known for.”  
He let that sink in.  
“I have done ever kind of modeling, mostly nudes and with others. I’ve done porn movies, had my pictures taken while doing all kinds of sex poses. I’m tired of defending my lifestyle, or hiding it. It’s what I do.” He stood up and Sho was afraid he would leave while he processed the porn part. It was both shocking, a turn off and a turn on. And he never would’ve asked Jun to hide that part of his life. But it was a lot to take in. Jun grabbed something from the backpack and handed to magazine to Sho who had followed him to the hallway.

“This is what I do now.” He watched the confusion on Sho’s face. “Page five.”  
Page five was a story someone shared, but the pictures accompanying the outline featured Aiba and Jun. Sho stared at a naked Jun and Aiba in bathrobe in the background. Jun looked so sad, like they had been into a terrible fight with the red eyes.

Sho walked back to the couch leafing further through the pages.  
“Do you know how tiresome it is to hear potential dates saying they ‘cannot live up to the reputation of a porn star’? Or that they are just in it for the sex because I’ve done movies?”  
“I never said anything like that.”  
“I can hear you think. You must have wondered.”  
“Jun, you are putting words in my mouth. I knew working with Nino you must have done a thing or two. But honestly, I don’t really care.”

“Nino’s living with me now, because I needed some space after that kiss between us.” Jun sighed.  
“Jun,” Sho softly started putting the magazine away, when he eyes lingered a bit too long on the photo of Aiba and Jun kissing.  
“I met Aiba in the bed and breakfast he runs. Or ran. He became quite attached to us and he wanted to help out as I went back to work. So he offered to stay with us. When I met up with Nino he was heartbroken. So… He could stay too, because he craves human contact even if he swears he doesn’t. And you can’t imagine what I owe him.”

This was not the talk Sho had imagined they’d be having. Jun looked something between torn and unsure. So, Sho pour them some more wine.  
“I don’t think we should drink more.” True, perhaps, but Sho just wanted to have something to do.  
“I know,” he said and Jun pouted as he connected the dots.  
“I ruined the evening,” he concluded, “I seem to have a habit of doing that.”  
“You haven’t ruined anything. I don’t know you that well and I really appreciate you telling me all this.”

“I bet you had a different idea about this evening,” there was a hint of humour in Jun’s eyes and Sho followed suit.  
“I can’t deny I had.”  
“Well don’t keep it for yourself. Tell me. Maybe we can put this night back on track.” Sho sighed, pursing his lips.  
“Well, I thought that if we were done casually talking and eating, we’d just watch a movie or something.”  
“What kind of movie or what kind of something?” Sho felt flustered feeling that Jun might want to drag it out of him.  
“I … I wanted … What happened the other night when we kissed, Jun? It’s driving me insane.“

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who felt weird about it. You broke the kiss and didn’t seem to want to kiss me again. You had this weird look on your face.”  
“Eh? You weren’t really responsive to the kiss. I thought you might not like my kisses.”  
“Are you nuts? I told you it was a long time ago I had been kissed like that! That’s a compliment!”  
“I know and that’s when it got all kinds of confusing! And on top of that you left!” Sho stopped talking and smiled sillily, “Maybe we should try that again. Because you like my kisses, right?”  
“I’ll make sure you know how much I do this time. And I promise I’m not going anywhere.”

Sho gave a mock smile leaning into Jun, “You better not.” They stared at each other, letting the awkward feeling dissipate, and the new more intimate feeling surround them. It was a silent tug of war who would be the first cross the few centimeters between them. Smiles, looks that would go from lips to eyes and back again. Sho couldn’t deny he liked the feeling of want and waiting. His breath quickened, his inner temperature was rising.

“Oh hell,” Jun mumbled grabbing sho’s collar and pulling Sho against him slamming their lips together, making Sho breathless with the impact. There was no gentleness in their kiss. It was heated and sloppy as Jun claimed access to Sho’s mouth, licking around the sea of his lips, tugging harshly on the lower one before delving inside. Jun tasted of wine, the scent of him being close made his mind go haywire.  
Sho pulled him closer, his arms reaching up; one around his neck to keep him close, the other crawling over Jun’s back, drawing clingy patterns. There was a moan, but Sho couldn’t tell if it was him or Jun. His body seemed burn with the contact. Pushing Jun against the cushions of the couch as he covered him. Jun didn’t put up any kind of resistance, move over he welcomed the attention, letting his fingers pull Sho’s shirt up so he could caress his skin. Now Sho could hear himself; the hitching of breath, the soft sound he emitted in Jun’s mouth as their tongues kept twirling around together in a sweet dance of dominance.

Sho moved against Jun, their bodies rubbing against each other, creating friction where it felt so good. Sho kept moving, nice and slow, hearing Jun react. The subtle shifts of his body, the soft little gasps he emitted, the slight arching of his back, the way his nails seem to scratch over the skin of is back, sliding down ever so slowly.  
Sho was dry humping his neighbour. He knew he should stop. This was just a kiss. But why did it feel like he had won a jackpot and at the same time did it feel like he was a schoolboy alone with his first crush. He broke the kissing, hid his head in the crook of Jun’s neck, where breathing was even more difficult. But he was getting embarrassed, the rush of passion no doubt highlighted on his cheeks.  
He should stop. But it felt so good; being on top, feeling Jun beneath him, Feeling how hard he was against his own, through the fabrics of their jeans. Jun’s hands creeping against the edge, creeping underneath the waistband, fingers slowly winning terrain, making Sho almost desperate as he moved out of his previous control. Harder and closer, creating more heat, more grating. Breath becoming more hectic as he mouthed and licked against the skin of Jun’s neck.

“I want to hear you,” sounds Jun’s voice, breaking the silence between them as he grabs hold of Sho’s cheeks and massages them with steady hands. Sho moaned almost on command by the action. “I want you to say my name as you come.”  
Sho stopped moving, as the words took root into his brain. He couldn’t possibly mean -

“Let’s go to the bedroom then,” Sho muttered teasing Jun’s neck with his lips and tongue.  
“My name,” Jun insisted, moving his body against Sho, his fingers pressing down, slipping between the crack, but skipping the place where Sho longed to be touched.  
“Jun, I’m not a schoolboy. Creaming my pants is something that can be avoided. Let’s have our fun in the bedroom.”  
“Proper little Sho-kun,” Jun teased back, breathless, letting his fingers dance and torment the skin it could, “What if I told you I’d like my guys dirty? What if I told you I want you to come right here.”  
Sho just breathed, listing to the low voice of Jun, sending interesting prickling through his being, curling his toes. Jun moved his fingers, edging around Sho’s hole, making him jolt and move almost against his will.  
“I want to be inside you,” Jun started whispering, driving him on, “I want to feel you hot and tight around me, hear your moans, and see you come undone. It would be so hot to see you riding me, to see you fucking yourself on me.”

Sho could just moan, utter some noises that weren’t really words, as the things Jun told him visualised behind his closed eyes, proving too powerful to resist. He wanted to be beneath Jun, even he hardly ever was in any previous relationship.

Sho moved with fierce actions against Jun, rougher, uncontrollable.  
“Would you like that, Sho? Can you see it? Can you feel it?” Jun insert a tiny bit of his finger into Sho’s heat, but it was enough to make him come with just a few jerks, Jun’s name on his lips in a low endless moan.

It took a little while for Sho’s heart to stop beating in a somewhat normal rhythm. He didn’t really want to get off of Jun right now. How embarrassing to just come like that - even if Jun wanted that. He could already feel the stickiness turn cold inside his jeans. He sighed covertly before getting up, to only be held back by Jun who flung his arms around his neck, pulling him back for a kiss.

It was slow, tender; there was no fight over dominance this time with the urge gone. Though Jun was still hard. Sho could feel it.  
“Shouldn’t I take care of you?” Sho muttered against Jun’s lips.  
“Are you in a hurry?” Jun whispered back, trying to catch Sho’s bottom lip between his own.  
“I do want to get out of my clothes,” Sho joked, maybe half. Seriously, it felt icky to say the least. Jun just smiled, looking mischief, inching his hand between them to cradle the wet spot. Sho felt the impulse to pull away. Because it was just too much to bare.

“Is it really that bad?” Jun laughed seeing the look on Sho’s embarrassed face. “You don’t like feeling dirty and juvenile?”  
“Do you?” It sounded ridiculously questionable. Jun laughed softly.  
“Did you forget what I do for a living?”  
“I’m sorry, didn’t you tell me that porn and personal are not the same?” Sho shot back.  
Jun rubbed his nose against Sho’s, pressing their foreheads together. “True. Though, I don’t mind.”  
“You’re not the one with the cold wet spot in your jeans.”  
“Oh, god, you’re never going to shut up about this, are you? Okay, you win. Take me to your bedroom, mister Newscaster.”

“About freaking time,” Nino’s voice sounds through the open balcony doors a little while after their done. Masaki giggles softly, probably because Nino dared to speak up after listening in.  
Jun grinned, while Sho covered his face with his hands - embarrassed yet again. 


End file.
